"the bloggers' post"

Am I a Blogger?

In blogging on March 12, 2010 at 8:47 am

a guy with lots of id tags

An Authentic Fraud

Are you a victim of the haunting question of “what do you do?” In our lives, in this country, we are often defined by the answer to this question. I don’t really blame us though. There is far too much coming at us all at once, too much stimuli, and we as humans need to categorize and become selective with the things we interact with.  So we use “what we do” as an easy way to define who we and others are in one quick question.

I’ve personally come to realize just how painful this question can be for people in this day and age. Many of our friends have lost their jobs, our economy is damaged, and we are in a period of transition. I am currently struggling with this question myself, and voila a blog post title was born.

I have dedicated my adventure into blogging with a couple of agreements with myself. I wanted to build a community that I could joyfully spend every day being part of, and I wanted to do it with an authenticity that I feel both me and my world needs. The community part is steadily becoming a reality, but the authenticity part is what I am struggling with. And, it all comes down to the question in the title of this blog…”Am I a blogger?”

The Juxtaposition (I love this word)

I am in the middle of a total identity crisis. I am not done with all the haunting of 2009, and I am surely not making a living blogging, at least not yet. I want to answer the question of “what do you do?” with an authentic answer, but I am afraid I don’t know what that is. Am I a blogger simply because I make that statement, even if I am at the beginning of a path that has not revealed its destination entirely, or am I a fraud that is pretending to be something before I’ve actually become that?

In my last post “paralysis by analysis” I explained the steps I have been taking to move into the community I wish to belong to. This post can be considered the follow-up to that post. I want to authentically tell people I am a blogger, but I feel like a fraud when I do it. It’s as if the blog is to define who I am.

This definition of who I am is what is stopping me from finalizing my theme, and taking the next step forward. The problem is that I feel as though my decisions as to my theme, my focus, and the goals I set are going to define me. And, I will have effectively put myself into a position in which I must accept as my identity. I’m not sure if I am ready to accept a new identity, or perhaps I don’t have the confidence that I will make the right decision for that identity.

I Need a New Solution

As I wrote, rewrote, deleted, and so on, and so forth, I discovered that the question is flawed. “What do you do?” is a terrible question. It’s not as though the answer will give you a real insight as to who I am, or what I want from life, or who I am trying to be. Instead it only gives you a glimpse at a sliver of my life that is shallow enough for it to be a safe engagement between me and the inquisitor.

Maybe we should start asking, “Who are you?” instead. We could reply with things like I am a man who loves to share, who strives for honesty almost to a fault, who helps (sometimes too much), and who gets angry at people that don’t take personal responsibility. It would be a lot clearer for the other person, but then again I don’t think most people could handle that type of interaction.

The problem still exists, but I’m a little more ready to step into an unknown future without kicking and screaming. As for my identity I think I’m going to start making some agreements instead of decisions. I’ll keep you posted on that.

Enjoy Life,

Marty

P.S. Once I pick my theme and relaunch this blog I’m going to add a page of agreements.

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  1. Great read! So true! I especially have difficulty answering this question because no one really understands my job when I try to explain it anyway….maybe we should change it to “What’s your passion?” The responses would probably be way more interesting anyway!

    • Hi Tony,

      I love the new question…”what’s your passion?” I think it is perfect. I’m going to use it the next time I have a new interaction. Oh that reminds me, Tony what is your passion?

      Marty

  2. This article really helped me with the same question…hope you like it: http://www.lifebeyondcode.com/2010/01/01/elevator-pitch-you-need-it-no/

  3. Funny you should ask;) Music, running, food, animal rescue, family…maybe not in that order tho!

  4. Hi Marty:

    Yeah, we live at a time when we are defined by what we do for a living. I think that’s kind of sad considering we’re pretty complicated people. I think your goal to build community is a great thing and its perhaps the best thing, IMHO, about blogging. I have met interesting people on my journey and hope to continue doing it.

    As far as making money blogging…I think I once hoped or dreamed that I could do that. Now I’m not so sure. But even if I don’t think I’ll make any money directly from blogging…I hope that I can one day make it indirectly…e.g. someone might see my writing skills and hire me for a project. I really think you need lots of eyeballs on your site to make money from advertising. But hey, what do I know? In any case, good luck with the re-launch!

    • Hey Tim,

      You taught me something, IMHO (in my humble opinion) I had to google it. 🙂 Thank you for the comment. Your participation is what gives me hope that I can pull it off. I’ve been working on it as hard as I can. And, since you participated, I’ll let you in on my secret…I found a theme! http://www.thebloggerspost.net Let me know what you think. I’ve got a ton of work still to do on it. I am hoping to glean some time on Sunday to do it.

      In the meantime, checkout http://www.copyblogger.com for some great stuff about the right ways to monetize without millions of hits a month.

      Thanks again,

      Marty

  5. Marty, its almost like fate that I read your blog tonight. I very recently was in a position where that question “what do you do” was cued, however I thought to myself before I spoke, “what a weird question, what if a person didn’t do anything right now, they are left feeling obligated to answer the question and its like you can sense the awkwardness of the silence while they think of how to answer it” It is a very obnoxious term, its almost like the questions meaning is….”well I better think of something good or this person is going to think I’m a total bumb” Our society has done this to…US.
    I also like “what is your passion” seems more appropriate and shows that you truly are interested in the person and not just what their stature is in society. Does that make sense? Kind of reminds of that other question, “what kind of car do you drive” i see no relevance of that question unless your car was stolen. LoL
    Good reads, keep it going….

    Andrea

    • First of all, let’s start with the last thing you said. I absolutely love it. “what kind of car do you drive?” well officer, it was…. Thanks for the chuckle.

      I am a believer in fate in many ways, and i truly feel that if I keep putting it out there honestly, then I’ll get back great connections with honest, good, sharing people. You are a prime example of that. I truly appreciate you taking the time to visit, read, and comment. The word obnoxious stands out for me in your comment. I really do feel that the question can be categorized as obnoxious. In this day and age the question can also be very hurtful, perhaps not intentionally, but hurtful none-the-less.

      I really do think we, as a society, need to examine our use of language to help elevate us as human beings not worker bees. I loved the comment. Thank you very much.

  6. This post is by far my favorite! So deep and so true! I hope you find your new theme soon, so that we can keep reading about real honesty.

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